Claws, vomit and nightmares

Ever notice the amount of grown men with long finger nails taking the red line into/out of Quincy? This morning I had the displeasure of standing in front of a seated man who had the crustiest, most yellow, long, pointy fingernails I'd seen in quite some time. Take a look and you will throw up in your mouth a little just like I did:

Not only were this man's hands nauseating to look at, but at one point he started tapping his crusty claws, one at a time in quick succession against the metal pole, creating the most irritating and vomit-inducing noise I'd experienced in a long time. I gave him the look of death and scurried away in disgust/terror as he proceeded to make his claw/pole music, which sounded just so beautiful when combined with his hacking, wet cigarette cough.

I'm definitely going to have nightmares about those claws tonight. Usually they only have one or two long pinky or thumb nails, but this guy had 10 fingers in need of a visit with a hacksaw and anti-fungal treatment. At least he didn't pick his nose with them, as I all too often witness on the red line.

Video! Coldest commute day and biggest crowds.

What the F, MBTA. I'm on to you... on Tuesday you announce potential fare hikes. This gets people upset and gets them thinking, "Hey, I don't need the damn T if they're going to be so expensive." Then, in an obviously calculated attempt to show people how much we need the T to run properly, the frackin red line has disabled trains and ridiculous delays on the coldest commute of the 2011-2012 winter season.

I got to Wollaston and noticed a lot of people waiting downstairs. I thought, "oh it must be reeaaallly cold and windy up on the platform. I'm going to get a good spot and let those suckers rush up the stairs when that 8:35am train rolls in!" Silly, naive, me. I get to the top of the stairs and there must have been thousands of people standing there. There was also a train, packed to maximum capacity, just sitting there. People were desperately trying to squeeze on, as though this train was the last one to heaven and everyone else was destined to eternity in hell. What a pathetic display of desperation and inconsiderate behavior. Step back and let that damn train move, people! Jesus. Check out my VIDEO of the scene here.

So I wait, and wait, and wait, and there are several announcements on the loud speaker about a disabled train at Wollaston. The damn thing had moved so let's freshen up the announcement and be accurate, MBTA robot spokesman.

Miraculously, after about 20 minutes of standing in the 13 degree and windy weather at the top of the open Wollaston platform, a train pulls up and I get on! The pack of people pushing their way on to the train was disgusting, and I did intentionally kick the shin of man behind me who was pushing me.

Thank you Santa for less-crowded trains

As slow as the train has been lately, I do appreciate that many people seem to be taking some extra time off around the holidays, so the trains haven't been as crowded as normal. I found this picture online and it made me think of the red line at its worst...

Click here for photo credits

Sloooooow movin'

Anyone else feel like the train has been slower than it needs to be on a daily basis recently? It should take about 15 minutes to get from Wollaston to South Station in the morning, but lately it's been taking 20+ minutes due to slow moving and lots of annoying stops that make people fall over.

C'mon, Red Line! Where is your Christmas spirit? GET MOVING!!

Sniffle, snort, sniffle, snort

WTF is up with people incessantly sniffling their snots? Get a tissue!

As you can tell, I forgot my headphones this morning so I had the pleasure of listening to lots of sniffles and snorts and annoying loud people having insipid conversations. And of course since it was raining, the train took forever and was overly crowded and stopped just outside the JFK station just for the hell of it.

Ugggggg.... so not looking forward to the ride home.

Top 10 things about the red line that I didn't miss when I drove into work today

I was just grabbing a fresh glass of water at the office when I remembered that I don't have to take the T home tonight. I drove into work. Rejoice!

For the sake of brevity (and sanity), I will keep this Top 10 list to just 10, and it is focused primarily on the typical red line experiences that happen in colder weather.


10. Loud teenagers yelling politically incorrect words and phrases and cussing at eachother with no regard for the smaller, impressionable children around them.

9. Getting kicked by some nasty little kid in a stroller with his dirty little boots and his clueless, strung out teen mom does nothing about it. (Sidenote -- man oh man, could I go ON about strollers on the T!!!)

8. The nauseating odor of big old puffy winter jackets that have been in storage and never cleaned and absolutely reek of ashtrays, mothballs and sh*t.

7. Getting bumped into repeatedly by a strange old lady who refuses to budge even just 2 inches into the huge amount of space on her other side while I'm squeezed between her and a bunch of loud teenage whores.

6. Getting breathed on by a tall man with liquor breath.

5. Standing in an unknown sticky substance and then obsessing about the kinds of filth that are sticking to me.

4. Freaking out because of a fellow rider with what sounds like whooping cough and does absolutely nothing to cover her mouth and the cough gets louder and more phlegmy each time.

3. Having to cover my nose because of the intolerable odor from those pink grocery bags from Chinatown filled with god knows what kind of rotting produce and fish.

2. Adult men with long fingernails that have black filth caked under the tips.

1. Dry-heaving over curry farts.

Wow -- that was too easy to write and I keep thinking of more!!

Poop

I wish I'd noticed that chunk of poop on the floor in the train this morning before I stepped in it.