Thank you Santa for less-crowded trains

As slow as the train has been lately, I do appreciate that many people seem to be taking some extra time off around the holidays, so the trains haven't been as crowded as normal. I found this picture online and it made me think of the red line at its worst...

Click here for photo credits

Sloooooow movin'

Anyone else feel like the train has been slower than it needs to be on a daily basis recently? It should take about 15 minutes to get from Wollaston to South Station in the morning, but lately it's been taking 20+ minutes due to slow moving and lots of annoying stops that make people fall over.

C'mon, Red Line! Where is your Christmas spirit? GET MOVING!!

Sniffle, snort, sniffle, snort

WTF is up with people incessantly sniffling their snots? Get a tissue!

As you can tell, I forgot my headphones this morning so I had the pleasure of listening to lots of sniffles and snorts and annoying loud people having insipid conversations. And of course since it was raining, the train took forever and was overly crowded and stopped just outside the JFK station just for the hell of it.

Ugggggg.... so not looking forward to the ride home.

Top 10 things about the red line that I didn't miss when I drove into work today

I was just grabbing a fresh glass of water at the office when I remembered that I don't have to take the T home tonight. I drove into work. Rejoice!

For the sake of brevity (and sanity), I will keep this Top 10 list to just 10, and it is focused primarily on the typical red line experiences that happen in colder weather.


10. Loud teenagers yelling politically incorrect words and phrases and cussing at eachother with no regard for the smaller, impressionable children around them.

9. Getting kicked by some nasty little kid in a stroller with his dirty little boots and his clueless, strung out teen mom does nothing about it. (Sidenote -- man oh man, could I go ON about strollers on the T!!!)

8. The nauseating odor of big old puffy winter jackets that have been in storage and never cleaned and absolutely reek of ashtrays, mothballs and sh*t.

7. Getting bumped into repeatedly by a strange old lady who refuses to budge even just 2 inches into the huge amount of space on her other side while I'm squeezed between her and a bunch of loud teenage whores.

6. Getting breathed on by a tall man with liquor breath.

5. Standing in an unknown sticky substance and then obsessing about the kinds of filth that are sticking to me.

4. Freaking out because of a fellow rider with what sounds like whooping cough and does absolutely nothing to cover her mouth and the cough gets louder and more phlegmy each time.

3. Having to cover my nose because of the intolerable odor from those pink grocery bags from Chinatown filled with god knows what kind of rotting produce and fish.

2. Adult men with long fingernails that have black filth caked under the tips.

1. Dry-heaving over curry farts.

Wow -- that was too easy to write and I keep thinking of more!!

Poop

I wish I'd noticed that chunk of poop on the floor in the train this morning before I stepped in it.

Spooky presence on the Red Line...

I'm sorry it's been so long since I posted. Unfortunately for me, my prolonged absence from this blog had nothing to do with a reduced amount of time taking the red line. A new job has made me very busy and my commute shorter, but that doesn't mean that the red line isn't haunting me every day.

This morning, keeping in the Halloween theme, I was spooked to see a frighteningly large crowd of ghouls and zombies (a.k.a. regular red line riders) standing at the haunted Wollaston platform this morning. Of course the hell train that pulled up was full of scary souls blocking the doors and refusing to stand in the center of the train. I immediately noticed a spine-chilling presence of curry, and as soon as the door closed, a terrifying cloud of rotting corpse diarrhea fart possessed the entire train.

Just another day.

Yelling at idiots

Sometimes I just have to put rude people in their place.

Last night on my way home on the red line, the train was packed and I was standing, holding onto one of the infested poles to steady myself. At JFK a woman squoze on next to me and proceeded to place her hand on the pole about 5 inches above mine, and letting her full plastic grocery bag that was dangling from her wrist knock my hand completely off the pole. I looked at her and said, "why thank you, am I still in your way?" No response from her. I grabbed onto the pole above her and dangled my bag in her face. She didn't seem to mind.

Seven minutes later we got to the N. Quincy station and as the doors closed and we departed the station, the small filthy man who had been sitting in front of me stood up and I think said, "excuse me". I replied with, "can't you wait until the train stops? there's nowhere to move." He didn't even look at or acknowledge me and likely didnt speak English anyway, so he just stood there with his filthy self right in my face. I should have just let loose and really yelled at him since it appeared he had no idea what I was saying anyway. I didn't budge an inch for him. 2 minutes later we arrive at Wollaston and boy is he anxious to make sure he gets off the train. Naturally, in a huff, I whip my bag into him and block him as I very slowly made my way off the train.

Don't mess with me, people.

I need a shower

I wanted to get to work early today but the MBTA Red Line had other plans for me.

On a good day it takes me about 40 minutes door-to-door to get to my office. Today it took 75 minutes due to signal/switch problems up at Charles MGH.

Of course this happens on a day when I don't have my phone charged so I couldn't listen to music to drown out the incessant commentary and complaints about the situation, or take pictures of the sweaty back that kept rubbing against me or the armpit (heavily doused with cologne, thank goodness) that was in my face.

Pictures can't capture the warm breath of the tall man standing next to me, huffing and puffing and mumbling about the situation, but I will not forget the sensation and inclination to vomit that I felt each time he breathed on my face. I had nowhere to turn, no protection, so I lifted my Metro to my face and held it against my forehead for a little while.

It would be so much better if, during these delays, the train would stop at each station quickly instead of "standing by" with the doors open so more and more rude jerks can squeeze on and rub their nasty skin, sweaty clothes and dirty bags all over me.

I wish my office had showers in the ladies room.

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I had to yell at 3 people this morning.

Beautiful morning, pleasant walk to the Wollaston T station... not so pleasant feeling when I get to the top of the stairs and see a mass of people waiting for an Alewife train.

The train arrives 4 minutes later and as I'm getting onto the train, I see that everyone is crowding the door per usual and I have to yell at someone for standing halfway through the standing area with enough room for 3 people to his left by the end of the car. He moves and there's room for more people to get on the train and I get an ok spot holding on to the rail by the door with a small person sitting in front of me. Unfortunately my left hand gets whipped repeatedly by a frizzy ponytail on a short woman in front of me so I say, "gross, watch your hair", readjust my positioning in the limited amount of space I have, and put my left hand down by my side. She doesn't understand English -- or she just likes disgusting people with her rat tail on purpose -- because she keeps doing it. I hold up my Metro basically wrapping it around her head. She doesn't seem to notice. What the hell.

We get to N. Quincy and 500 more people squeeze on. As mentioned, I have my left hand (which has already been assaulted by nasty hair) down by my side. Right away some dude squeezes himself onto the train next to me, bends down, SMEARING HIS GREASY WARM FACE ALONG THE ENTIRE LENGTH OF MY ARM AND HAND. I freak out, yell, "SICK!!!" and jerk my hand away, struggle to find my hand sanitizer because the train is so crowded and I can barely open my bag, and then I'm even more grossed out by the heavy breathing of an old man who has the worst diaper breath I've ever encountered.

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Things that bothered me on the T over the last 15 hours

1. Leg crossers. Talk about rude! Why do these leg-crossers who have a seat feel the need to cross their legs, thereby taking up even more space with their legs sticking out into the middle of the standing area? I've been noticing this a lot lately. Sometimes I'm even straddling people's gross feet because they refuse to just let their feet rest on the floor. And the taller the person it is, the more their legs jet out into the standing area. Frackin' rude!

2. Tampons on the tracks. I saw this scene this morning at Wollaston. Wow.

3. Cigar smoking. This happened outside Wollaston entrance while I'm waiting to cross the street. Talk about rude. Who gets off a train and desperately needs to immediately smoke a cigar? That shnizz stinks.

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Cops n' farts

Naturally I was stopped by the police this morning to search my bag as they always do, so I missed a train by about 30 seconds. Wicked pissed.



Ten minutes later another train comes along, and when we got to N. Quincy a large man, sweating with heat radiating off of him, put his sweaty armpit millimeters away from my face as he held onto the top bar. I had nowhere to go, but luckily he didn't reek of b.o. However, the heat coming off of him was really disturbing and I think that was because he was having digestive issues becuse there were some amazingly foul and nauseating rotten egg diarrhea farts throughout the ride.

Most valuable blog? I like it.

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It never ceases to amaze me how rude and gross people can be

It's always a bad sign when I walk up the stairs at Wollaston and see a mass of people waiting for a train. It's also a bad sign when the train appears and that mass of people gets on, uncomfortably squished, and the train doesn't move. It's also wicked rude and annoying when oblivious d-bags have their Metro opened as big as it can possibly be as they lean against and cover with their body a pole that 10 people need to grab onto, and then rub the edges and corners of the open newspaper against my arm, stomach and breasts. Newspaper assault!

When we finally arrived at North Quincy this morning, the conductor announced that the train would be express to South Station, and that anyone who planned to get off at the 3 stops between N. Quincy and South Station should get off the train. No one got off, as expected, but a bunch of people squeezed on. Naturally I get stuck in an awkward position with the newspaper assaulter now poking me even more in the front, a large man with a large backpack digging into my back, a B.O. stinkin' man with the hairiest arms I've ever seen to my left rubbing against my left arm, and a short woman pushing into me from the back-right, breathing heavily on and touching my right arm, and resting her arm on my right shoulder because she can't reach any higher and there's a suitcase and body blocking the rest of the pole. Oh, and there's a young woman sitting in front of me with her legs crossed (therefore taking up way too much room) huffing and puffing and complaining to anyone who will listen about the delays and how crowded the train is even though her body isn't being touched by ANYONE, and of course she eventually slams her high heel into the top of my foot as she un-crosses her legs. Does she apologize? No. She gives me a dirty look and sighs again, as if it's my fault for being in her way and I deserved the pain or something. So nice.

If my math is correct, I had a minimum of 4 people constantly touching me and pressing into me during my entire ride from Wollaston to S. Station with a couple foot stomps. I won't even attempt to count the number of other bodies with which my body came into unwanted contact at Downtown Crossing.

I HATE the red line.

No comment.

Now I have to worry about pink eye? Cripes.

I'm alreayd freaked out by the potential to catch MRSA on the train but hadn't considered pink eye. Sick.

Stopped again by police

I was stopped again by the police to search my bag at Wollaston this morning.

My worst nightmare

It happened today but thank the lord I wasn't on that train. 447 people had to be evacuated from a disabled train on the Red Line outside Porter Station in Cambridge. And I heard that it was TWO trains that got stuck? What the hell, red line!?!?!?! This happened close to 10am, and I just cannot fathom this happening to me during early morning rush hour on a completely packed train in July.




It was a hot day and these poor people were stuck underground for almost 3 hours. They had to be evacuated from the train underground and walk through the tunnels of the nation's oldest subway system. I can't imagine the stench of dead rats, sewage and asbestos down there! Now I will have to be extra obsessive about making sure I have water and reading materials every time I roll the dice and hop on the red line.

Read more here: http://www.thebostonchannel.com/news/28520847/detail.html#ixzz1SSzy6sK0

The daily emails

My husband sent me an email this morning to ask how my ride in on the red line was. Following is my email response back to him:

My ride in started ok, then a curry/b.o. stinking dude with a huge backpack got on at N. Quincy and kept bumping into me and smelling up the place. The train was again very slow getting out of Quincy and of course had to stop on the tilted tracks outside JFK. Then at S. Station a girl with long curly hair got on and squeezed herself btwn me and some other person so her warm damp body was pressing against me and her hair was touching me. It was disgusting. Way too hot for that kind of cramming. Then at downtown crossing some gross tiny man pressed his moist hot sweaty arm against mine while trying to push through the crowd. People just don’t give a sh*t about touching other people and bumping. Am I the only person who doesn’t want to come into physical contact with any strangers????

Yesterday’s email to my sister (my first day back from a week’s vacation free from public transportation):

Miserable reality check this morning. Woke up with a headache and then the T was miserable. Peoples’ clammy skin touching me from all angles, a tall girl behind me whipping her very long pony tail so that her nasty hair touched my face, neck and arm REPEATEDLY, some dumb chick not holding on when the T came to a screeching halt on the tipped tracks outside JFK and stomped on my foot and elbowed my ribs, etc.

"Get in on slamming the T"

Whilst standing on my tip-toes trying not to let my clean skin come in contact with anyone or anything else for 8 minutes in a crowded red line train that had come to a stop on the tilted tracks outside the JFK station this morning, I saw the following article in the Metro. Naturally, "slamming the T" is a growing past time for the Metro's readership! Thank you to my caring coworker, Katherine, for cutting the article out of her Metro and leaving it on my computer at work.



As annoying as it is to have to stop and hang out every now and then to let a rude, slow Ashmont train catch up outside JFK, I hate the T for stopping where the track is lopsided so everyone has to stand on tiptoes or at strange angles to avoid tipping over inside the train. When the train is crowded, that means everyone is tipping over and leaning on each other, and the aggravation is exacerbated by the incessant complaining, huffs and puffs and calls to their bosses complaining about being late. It's fracking irritating and gross!

Do I look sketchy?

There are a lot of degenerates riding the red line.

Why then, do the MBTA police stop me to search my bag every time they are doing their checks at Wollaston? Do they think I'm insane for putting myself through daily red line exposure? I always smile and thank them but I'm sick of missing a train because of this. Why can't they pick on someone else?

I find myself in a dilemma. I hate the red line and all the nastiness/frustration/germs/curry fart odors/offensive conduct/loud talkers/annoying cell phone ring tones/bad music pollution/general fear and filth that it brings into my life, but at the same time I WANT these things so I have good stuff for this blog. Please be patient with me… it’s been an uneventful week on the red line but experience tells me that there are some real doozies on the way.

For now, my 5 followers, I wish you a weekend free of the MBTA. If you're going into town for the Bruins parade, be ready for a whole different level of frustration! Non-commuters/Tourists + MBTA = WICKED ANNOYING.

Go B's.

Oh you tease!!

I get to Wollaston this morning as a train is leaving the station. I think, "Damnit, now I have to wait another 10 minutes" for another Alewife train, but as I'm walking to my regular boarding spot at the end of the platform, I hear, "the next red line train to Alewife is now approaching." Sweet! A train so close behind the last one can only mean one thing -- not crowded!

The train rolls up and sure enough it isn't overly crowded. I foolishly think, "it's a sign -- it's going to be a good day!" But of course that tricky red line has fooled me again; the heat is BLASTING in the train. One June 15. On a sunny, warm morning. I walk on and my sunglasses immediately fog up so I can barely read the story in the Metro about how the MBTA might need to be concerned about a rash of bus accidents. By the time we reach Downtown Crossing, I have sweat dripping down my back and my face is glistening with sweat.

At least no one ripped a garbage fart that I could smell during the ride.

From today's Metro. Lovely.

It's gonna be a hot, hot, hot...

It's gonna be a hot, hot, hot day... temps are expected to break the record and soar up close to 100 degrees. I love summer weather but the warmer it gets, the smellier and less tolerable the T gets.

Of course I get an overly crowded train at Wollaston in the morning and have a woman (who was wearing a sweater -- no joke) sniffling every 4-7 seconds. It's so annoying and I fear she has some tropical disease that I become instantly obsessed with counting the seconds between each sniffle. DAMN YOU IPOD FOR NOT BEING CHARGED THIS MORNING!! I won't get into much detail about the other chick behind me whose Metro was sticking in the back of my hair and kept giving me the willies.

We finally reach Downtown Crossing and the door is blocked by some strung out chick and a huge dude with a huge suitcase -- niether of them want to move and people start yelling at them. I do a little ninja jump around the suitcase and am freed from the serial sniffer and into the crowd bottlenecking the halls to the green and orange lines. As usual, people try to be annoying and cut around the lines, thereby slowing the herd.

First entry

I suppose a death at the Wollaston T station on Monday is enough for me to finally put pen to paper -- or is it fingers to keys? -- and start blasting the MBTA red line. Every day has a story and just when I think it can't get worse, the next ride comes along and I have more complaints. I know I am not the only one since there are over 200,000 daily riders on that cesspool on rails.

So far this week -- yes, just one week, and I am one person on one specific route:

Monday 6/6: Man is killed at about 4:50pm at the Wollaston T station after falling/jumping onto tracks and getting run down by an inbound train. Woops. Mechanical failure or unfortunate accident? Thank goodness I was home sick -- that ride home with bussing btwn stations can be miserable.

Monday Sidenote -- the helicopters thumping around above my house added some excitement and reminded me of my days in Southern California when there were daily high speed chases and helicopters flying around with each one. I also thought we may be under some sort of military attack. Fun!

Tuesday 6/7: Man is stabbed at Downtown Crossing at approximately 5:00pm, causing significant delays through rush hour. I finally get on a train, squished by the door with a sweaty person's exposed arm touching me and the corner of something hard in her enormous backpack digging into my kidneys. At least the ride in this morning wasn't miserable.

Wednesday 6/8: I'm happy for the Bruins but the fans everywhere are annoying as hell. My frustration today was actually not red line related. I just don't share the same excitement as the tourists about getting my picture taken outside North Station. Get me on that train and get me the hell out of there as quickly as possible, please.

Note to tourists on the T: Don't block doors when they open -- get out of the damn way or be ready to get knocked over by angry commuters who are jealous that you're on vacation while we're stuck going to work on the nasty ass train. And by the way, you're going in the wrong direction, but since you annoyed me I'll let you figure that out on your own.